We had a big scare with Ruthie Roo this past week at my mom's house. I was helping Sam clean the wax out of his ears (too much info? hmmm....)in the bathroom when Ruthie walked in. I noticed that she was headed for the cleaning supplies that had been left on the counter and I firmly told her not to touch. In the space of oh about .5 seconds she had decided to disobey and give the bottle a good squirt. The problem - the bottle was facing her. The next moments, which felt like hours, were filled with her screams and my panic over the Clorox in my 2 year old daughters eyes. Mom and I held her over the sink and rinsed her eyes out with luke warm water and listened to her screams. We gave her (and ourselves to be honest) a break about 10 minutes into it. I held her in a towel and cried with her...hoping no permanent damage had been done. We went back to the sink for round two and she started to scream again. But this time she was screaming a different tune. At the top of her lungs she screamed, "this is why you don't disobey! You get your eyes washed out." If the whole thing hadn't been so intense I know that I would have burst out into laughter. Hopefully it will be a lesson for both of us.
It really is moments like those that I learn about myself from my kids. I wonder how often HE looks down on me and wonders why I don't obey the first time. I can almost hear HIM..."don't touch. You will burn your eyes. The consequences aren't worth it." Yet I forge on and do what I want to do anyway. Then I scream over the pain that it caused me.
I have been tempted in the past week to disobey HIM in regards to our big move to China. Sometimes it just feels too hard. Like when we have strangers walking through our house and I remember everything that I love about our home and I don't want to give it up. Or when I am going through trunks of baby clothes I have been saving. I know that I don't need to store all of this stuff. It is just stuff, but it is sad none the less.
I even find myself pitching a fit in moments when I am trying to be obedient. I was reading a book about helping kids transition into other cultures and I literally freaked. "My kids won't be normal. What if moving to China emotional scars them for the rest of their lives." I cried...hard...screamed actually and then remembered the screams of my sweet little girl. At times disobeying seems easier, more fun, or better, but deep down I know that it isn't.
It is hard to obey...almost impossible at times. But worth the effort in the long run.
"What is impossible for man, is possible with HIM"
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Through tear filled eyes... THANK YOU! Your story has ministered to my heart tonight. Thanks for sharing your human-ness with me. Now it is my turn to feel like we just had a conversation in your driveway. I miss you, Tammy. Thanks for being willing to teach me through your experiences. I love you TONS! ~S
I think as parents there are always those times when we wish we could rewind what just happened and restart our childs actions just a little differently in order to cause them a little less pain. Benjamin got a good taste of dishwasher detergent one day and also decided he wanted to roll down the stairs. I felt horrible about that one for months.
Thanks for being open about your struggles. Just a thought... you may want to check out other blogs from mothers who have their families overseas.
So true. It seems to be the same lesson over and over again, do I believe He is good, faithful and trustworthy. Do I believe that He is in charge of all things...good and calamity. If I truly did my life would be so different, but He gives a greater grace, greater than my fears and my unbelief. And so we continue on in that grace, that is the true miracle.
Thanks. I appreciate knowing others are with us in the struggle...as parents and as His children!
Post a Comment